This question has been running through my head over and over again this past week or so, "What's next?" Of course none of us really know what comes next, but if I have all the ammunition in my arsenal, why does it feel like my life trigger has jammed? When I reflect on the events that are going on in my life now and in the past, it is hard to remember a time when Fibromyalgia wasn't in the equation. We become so numb to the consistency of this illness that unless we stop to think about it, FM/CFS has been sitting stagnant on our shoulders with us, watching our lives pass us by.
Obviously life will keep moving forward and for now FM will just have to be the hairy mole on my back I try so hard to hide until the time comes when we find a cure; however, over the past month or so it has been a real trial for me to motivate myself to work, play and live the way I was intended to. Albeit I have had some major family health issues effect my life but this stress was different, it effected me in a way I never expected. Even now I am not sure I can put an emotion to it, only that for the first time in a long time I felt the pieces of my life not quite fit as they should. I could not cure the illness that struck my family, only cope with it. I was unable to concentrate on the things that give me pleasure, i.e. writing, my girls. One day would pass then the other and it was just time on the clock, lost to.....?
There probably isn't a single point I am trying to make here, but one thing I did learn, the answer to my question"What's next?" The next few moments, then more moments after that and for now, that is enough for me to take on and live to their fullest.
Like many, I have been fighting the silent battle with fibromyalgia. It took me eight years, eleven months, 26 days and 13 hours to decide I had lived in silence long enough. So here I am, roaring to the world my experience, experiments and evolution with Fibromyalgia in the hope to inspire the one, the many and the masses to find their voice as well. This is my story.
Hi A. Downs,
ReplyDeleteI truly understand where you are coming from. I've had these same moments myself. You are not alone in your fight. A positive attitude and a chronic pain coach can help you identify the challenges you face in your life. I would love to help you focus on living a fulfilled life. If you're interested, please get in touch with me at DianeRustandStellarCoaching@gmail.com.
Much love,
Diane Rustand
Chronic Pain & Wellness Coach
It's time like this when we realize how our family memebers feel about -our- illness. ((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteHi are you the same person who has the fibromyalgia blog http://fibro2010.com/2011/10/7-healthy-recipes-to-help-fibromyalgia-sufferers/ It has all your healthy recipes but no reference to you.
ReplyDeleteI've suffered from chronic pain for the last five years, but was only recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I ask myself "What next?" on a daily basis. Right now, I can't answer that question. It's hard to think about anything besides my pain. I did find some good advice for blocking those negative thoughts at http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-pain but it's not easy. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel less alone.
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