When someone asks how we are doing, we say "FINE", which in Fibromyalgia talk means: Frustrated, Irritated, Non-Functional & Everything hurts! I have discussed in the past how all of us have become such amazing actors/actresses when it comes to putting on our strong faces and accepting whatever emotion is reciprocated.
I feel pretty confident that we are all well aware of this situation so today I want to talk about what happens when a new trauma, stress or overwhelming event enters your life. "What do I do now", you ask? I barely have enough energy to take care of myself let alone taking on new responsibilities and unavoidable burdens.
Recently a close family member had a stroke and during the testing process also found out that he has testicular caner. Talk about a lot to take in, for him and me. Neither of us have a real "core" support system, family has all passed away with the exception of my mother who still lives on the West Coast so the reach for help is short.
My whole life was turned upside down in one second. I had to find a way to monitor my own health, mentally and physically but also find treatment and secure care for this new illness struct patient. Being listed as the person to make medical decisions on his behalf was a though pill to swallow for me, all that responsibility.
My life even now, 3 weeks after the major event I am far from the regular routine I was so accustomed to; however, it has given me the change to challenge myself in ways I think we all sort of push aside knowing what may happen to our bodies if we do. Weather it is going to beach with friends/family or riding your bike, taking a walk. We fall so easily into the caregiver position to take care of ourselves that we forget to open ourselves up to strangers or family members who may also need assistance. I admit that I can't do this full time, I have never hurt as much, been as tired and emotionally stretched thin than I have been these past few weeks, but I will continue to find ways to give back to others in my community who need help. I can do it when I feel good and for a short time in return I get the gift of my FM/CFS being off my mind and off of the hardest job I'll ever have, fighting fibromyalgia.
With some additional medication to help get through this temporary but exhausting event, I am confident that I will be back to my sassy, over zealous personality soon. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you find yourself in this sort of situation, talk to your Dr. and know your limits! Dishes can wait until morning, beds don't have to be made you are only going to get back into them. Take things one step at a time and find your way back to "FINE" will be the best gift you can give yourself.
Like many, I have been fighting the silent battle with fibromyalgia. It took me eight years, eleven months, 26 days and 13 hours to decide I had lived in silence long enough. So here I am, roaring to the world my experience, experiments and evolution with Fibromyalgia in the hope to inspire the one, the many and the masses to find their voice as well. This is my story.
Sorry to hear about your relative. Was wondering why we hadn't heard much from you. Obviously you had more important things to deal with. It is amazing how you can do things because you have too for a while. Even us healthy folks go through this kind of spell when all that can go wrong seems to all at once. Some how we seem to find the strength to do what is necessary. Anyway all us southern boys now fine from a female is not fine. It is almost as bad as I'm not mad I am just hurt. Meaning take cover, get out of the way and disappear until the coast is clear. Hope things get back to normal for you soon.
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