Every time I talk to people about sex and Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain Syndrome(FM/CFS), it reminds me of that joke: "How do porcupines mate?", "Very carefully" and for many this is a very real situation. One of the major issues with these syndromes is that pain levels vary from person to person and from day to day so there is no telling how your going to feel each morning. Unfortunately, we are so focused on fighting through the pain, fatigue and anxiety of FM/CFS that we tend to put our sexual desires on the back burner.
Your sexual health must be apart of your healthy living plan, especially if you intend to keep a wholesome relationship with your significant other or would like to have a sexual partner in the future. It is every humans desire to connect with someone not just on an emotional level but a sexual one as well and when you introduce any sort of influencing health factor, our sex lives can become well, crappy!
I can't speak for everyone here, but I happen to like sex so, what do we do? We must, like the oh so careful porcupine become creative creatures. This is an opportunity for you to liberate your libido and involve your partner in as many of your ritualistic relaxation routines as possible.
Two are better than one, so have your partner join you in the hot sudsy tub, talk about your day and enjoy the moment of intimacy without the pressure of intercourse while still treating your sore structure. Massage is a highly recommended treatment for MS/CFS so invest in some yummy body oils and treat each other to a foot rub. An important thing to remember here, is to first address the anxiety over having intimacy (ie.pain, rejection, etc.) thus, the relaxation techniques and then move on to more perky pastures if the situation allows for it.
As of yet, there are no Kama sutra books specifically geared towards people with health related pain; however, this does not mean that you can't take it upon yourself to create an individualized pillow book of your own. Experimenting with different positions will help you discover new, pain free ways of having intercourse and gaining your sexual independence back. Being open minded to the idea of "toys" in the bedroom won't hurt either. Make it an, I do you - you do me sort of thing, not to mention this is something you can do solo as well to help release those great endorphins we get from the coveted "Ooooorgasm"!
So, go forth and be frisky. Take it upon yourself to get your sexual groove back and I will leave you with this: Two nuns walk into a bar......
Like many, I have been fighting the silent battle with fibromyalgia. It took me eight years, eleven months, 26 days and 13 hours to decide I had lived in silence long enough. So here I am, roaring to the world my experience, experiments and evolution with Fibromyalgia in the hope to inspire the one, the many and the masses to find their voice as well. This is my story.
:) sounds like you have it worked out.
ReplyDeleteFor me, yes. But sex is such a taboo subject and there are many women/men who are afraid to address or question it especially when there are so many other health issues already on the table. So, leave it to me to put it all out there for everyone to take from it, what they may. :)
ReplyDeleteLove this article! Exploration is the key, I agree.
ReplyDeletePorcupines, very cute!
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